So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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