nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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