sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
