Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
