Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
