Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
