I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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