you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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