my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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