I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
