I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
