and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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