"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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