hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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