I could have mohawked her pubes.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I supernannyed him into submission
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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