shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
When are your genitals available?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
