I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize