So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
