He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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