Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
