why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
