i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
