Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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