office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
