why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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