OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
