and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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