Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
