I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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