Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
should my penis look like a turkey
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize