I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he's single and there are thong briefs.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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