The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
