Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
