I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
