I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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