Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
