in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
