There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
