sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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