like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
