hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
