If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
