I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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