Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
