Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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