I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
