she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
