If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
