Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
