I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
