my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize