Your mouth is God's brothel.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
