shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
