Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
