i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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