Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
birth control should be required to get into college
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
