Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
