i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize