i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
