i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize