ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
