normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
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