nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
