I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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