Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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