What did we do last night that was yellow?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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