I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
