Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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