Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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